July 17, 2008

A strange thing happened today, and I can't really think of much more to speak of for this journal entry.

Mimi asked if she could speak with me in private after class. Dreading the worst, I said "All right." After everyone had left, she and I stayed behind to talk. I remember thinking, "Oh man, I'm so not prepared for this...I've only been teaching for three weeks. I hope it's nothing serious."

"I'm sad because my daddy died," Mimi told me.

"Oh my God, Mimi, I'm so sorry. When did this happen?"

"A few months ago. I've been thinking about it."

"What happened?"

She proceeded to tell me that she witnessed someone shooting her father, and running to him as he died. I was in complete shock.

"That's terrible, Mimi, I'm so, so sorry. Is there a reason you've been thinking about it today?" I didn't know if that was the right answer.

She nodded. "Yeah, someone called me stupid, and said my dad was stupid too."

"Well, that's an awful, awful thing to say," I remember saying. "I'm sure whoever said that didn't really know your daddy like you did. And you're definitely not stupid, Mimi. I'm your teacher, I've seen all the great things you've done this summer! And we're all so proud of you, as I'm sure your dad is, wherever he is right now. Wherever he is, I'm sure he can see you and is so, so proud of you. Do you know that?"

She nodded. "Do you feel better?" She shook her head. "Well, what can we do to make you feel better?" I asked. I was still in shock, and I didn't know what else to say. I've never seen myself as an particularly emotionally supportive person.

"Could I have a hug?" she asked.

"Of course!" I hugged her, even though we've been told we shouldn't hug. I figured I should make an exception now, of all times. "Do you feel better now?" She nodded and smiled a little. "Ok, good. Let's go to lunch now! I bet you're hungry!"

Still pretty shaken by it, I told the other teachers. What resulted later was almost as surprising.
Later on, after some time, Ms. von Furt told me that she had spoken with Mimi's mother, asking very politely the circumstances of Mimi's father's death. According to Ms. von Furt, Mimi's mother said casually, "Yeah, he died. But she was just a few months old. She never even met him. I don't know why she's talking about it."

I left feeling very odd about the whole situation. Why would she lie about that? What made her tell it to me so gravely, with such conviction? I'm definitely happy that she didn't witness her father's death. Nevertheless, I'm still confused by the whole situation...