July 22, 2008

Finally, the race issue comes up. In the back of my mind, I'd been trying to anticipate what to say in response to the question: "Why do you look like that, Mr. LeBon-Hsu?"
Ahmed said to me, "What's wrong with your eyes, Mr. LeBon-Hsu?" He must have noticed I flinched...I didn't expect his question to be so direct, or so reminiscent of the racism I'd encountered throughout my life.
I fumbled on an appropriate response. "That's not a very nice question. Do you think it's polite to ask that?" He nodded, but I think he was just picking up on my hurt feelings...after all, had he known it wasn't a "nice question," he wouldn't have asked me! I wasn't angry at him, of course, and he meant nothing by it (after all, we were buddies), but I think I was just really caught off guard. I went to go help another student, and Ms. von Furt subtly took Ahmed aside. After a few minutes, when I checked in to see how he and Barney were doing, he said "I'm sorry, Mr. LeBon-Hsu." I responded as cheerfully as I could, "It's ok, Ahmed, don't even worry about it. I know you weren't trying to be mean."
Later on, Ms. von Furt informed me of what she said: "I took Ahmed aside and I said, 'Hold our your arm.' Then I held out mine. 'Are we the same color, or different?' Ahmed said, 'Different.'
'That's right. My family is French, and yours is Pakistani. Mr. LeBon-Hsu's family is Malaysian. How would you feel if someone made fun of how you looked, or where you were from?'
'Not very good.'
'Now, do you understand why Mr. LeBon-Hsu got upset?'
'Yes,' he replied, after which he apologized to me.

The way Ms. von Furt reacted in this situation was just about perfect, I think. She was able to call attention to racism in such a way that a child could understand through personal experience. After four years of ethnic studies and postcolonial studies, I was more used to having hour-long conversations...consequently, it was very difficult for me to explain, in children's terms, why some questions are inappropriate to ask. Overall, a good lesson, and I think Ahmed and my relationship is still the same as it was before, with perhaps more respect.